Monday, December 8, 2008
Contemplation
I'm considering whether or not to create a new blog titled "Visage Ventures" where I will update the progress of my face. No it sounds too uninteresting and incapable of constant continuation. And also weird.
Visage Ventures
I am embarking on an epic quest known only as "The Visage Ventures" where myself and any other daring souls will push our face to the limit. Let me know if you want to join, but be warned, 'tis perilous.
it's growing on your head!
I am currently waiting for my hair to grow. Right now I have a mullet equipped. It works really well if you want attention otherwise squandered elsewhere upon others.
I'm also working on a moustache and soul patch. The moustache in my case is basically a dirt stache. But I'm going to give it about 2 weeks and see if it thickens up. I was inspired by Mr. Ackerman's blog to attempt the moustache, although it looks foolish on some, I decided to do it for a change.
The ladies tell me they like just side burns, but hey, they can't handle me anyways. So the soul patch inspirado came from none other than Jack Black. In his HBO series from the nineties I believe, his visage is equipped with a soul patch. Being at my stage in development, the soul patch would not be nearly thick or noticable enough, so I decided to pair it up with the moustache. In theory, the dirt stache or "Poor Man's Moustache" as I just called it would draw more attention to the center of my face. As people will dip their heads to laugh, they will notice the soul patch and rethink their former views.
Facial hair is alot of fun and I am just beginning to explore it this year. I'm sure that I will have had many cool beards by the time I am old and grey. Even then, I will probably have the toppled mountain range (all aspects of my facial hair will be long, triangular and pointy).
So wish me luck and let your dream grow.
I'm also working on a moustache and soul patch. The moustache in my case is basically a dirt stache. But I'm going to give it about 2 weeks and see if it thickens up. I was inspired by Mr. Ackerman's blog to attempt the moustache, although it looks foolish on some, I decided to do it for a change.
The ladies tell me they like just side burns, but hey, they can't handle me anyways. So the soul patch inspirado came from none other than Jack Black. In his HBO series from the nineties I believe, his visage is equipped with a soul patch. Being at my stage in development, the soul patch would not be nearly thick or noticable enough, so I decided to pair it up with the moustache. In theory, the dirt stache or "Poor Man's Moustache" as I just called it would draw more attention to the center of my face. As people will dip their heads to laugh, they will notice the soul patch and rethink their former views.
Facial hair is alot of fun and I am just beginning to explore it this year. I'm sure that I will have had many cool beards by the time I am old and grey. Even then, I will probably have the toppled mountain range (all aspects of my facial hair will be long, triangular and pointy).
So wish me luck and let your dream grow.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Man vs. Bear
I think it would be so cool to fight a bear one on one in the wilderness. Imagine you are walking through a heavily forrested mountainous region with only the clothes on your back, some camping supplies, and a hunting knife. Then all of a sudden, you see a bear over in the distance and it sees you. You and the bear lock eyes, and the bear begins to charge. Knowing very well that to turn you back would be treason to yourself, you charge the bear as well. When the collision is imminent, you unsling your backpack and hurl it at the bear. Now the bear is disoriented and stumbles in its stride. So you unsheath your trusty hunting blade and gnash at the bear's cranium. This is a close quarters fight, so the bear is mauling you with claws the size of your head. You're a bloody mess and you can't hold out much longer but you keep tearing and slashing away at the bear. A fierce swipe from the bear thrusts your head to the side and you see a muddled puddle of blood, not knowing its source. The bear roars and draws back for another swipe, so you gouge its eye down to its snout. Desperate, and in a blind rage, the bear goes straight for you neck with its horrific teeth. Using adrenaline enhanced strength in a fight for survival, you fend off the foul beast with pure strength and take a split second chance to pierce and gash its jugular. The risk paid off, as the bear attempts to belch out a deafening roar, he chukes up some blood and mucus all over your thrashed body. The bear stands teetering and tottering like a tower, you scramble to your feet to flank the bear. You pounce the bear from it's exposed back to finish it off. With a heroic leap, you latch onto the bear's shoulders and unleash a flurry of jabs into its neck, and it spits up more blood as it falls to the ground. Victory is yours for the day. You just killed menacing mammoth mammalious bear. Congratulations.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Black Friday
Black Friday
As prices were lowered with a great holiday hack, many earnest employees faced attack, all on the peculiar Friday of black. After the turkey had been brought, lower prices were sought, greedy go getters fought, an employee’s life was reduced to naught and a lesson was taught.
With an economy soon to fail, we once again were called upon to bail in return was an outrageous sale. Buying things we want to own, every twelve seconds a new cellular phone, for children with texting abilities to hone. Oh yes, the deals were hot, at a toy store two men were shot, now they lay in the ground to rot, do they not? Why would one man do so to another? Why does the flood of mothers seek to get a cheap sweater for a brother?
When the day finally gave in and quit, all of them asked was it worth it? Plundered were the stores of thrift, all for that perfect Christmas gift. Will destiny fulfill our new fear? Will stupidity repeat itself next year?
Yes, this poem is true, such piteous people made the black day feel blue. Christmas mentality of a stuffed stocking, suffocated reason with a logical blocking. Now keep it safe with your holiday plan, please be reasonable if you can. It’s not a madman’s free for all taking place in the shopping mall. Its supposed to be a time of peace, love, and merriment for all.
Perhaps at the turn of the year when the crystalline ball does drop, all of this illogicality will stop. Haha, what could I be thinking, that’s a night filled with excessive drinking. Or maybe it’ll be safe on Easter break, no wait, that’s when all of the college kids travel for a risk to take.
It’s starting to seem, society has no moral to redeem. With no purity there is no security. So fend for yourself, just as any Christmas elf. I wish you a happy holiday retreat, have plenty of presents and food to eat!
As prices were lowered with a great holiday hack, many earnest employees faced attack, all on the peculiar Friday of black. After the turkey had been brought, lower prices were sought, greedy go getters fought, an employee’s life was reduced to naught and a lesson was taught.
With an economy soon to fail, we once again were called upon to bail in return was an outrageous sale. Buying things we want to own, every twelve seconds a new cellular phone, for children with texting abilities to hone. Oh yes, the deals were hot, at a toy store two men were shot, now they lay in the ground to rot, do they not? Why would one man do so to another? Why does the flood of mothers seek to get a cheap sweater for a brother?
When the day finally gave in and quit, all of them asked was it worth it? Plundered were the stores of thrift, all for that perfect Christmas gift. Will destiny fulfill our new fear? Will stupidity repeat itself next year?
Yes, this poem is true, such piteous people made the black day feel blue. Christmas mentality of a stuffed stocking, suffocated reason with a logical blocking. Now keep it safe with your holiday plan, please be reasonable if you can. It’s not a madman’s free for all taking place in the shopping mall. Its supposed to be a time of peace, love, and merriment for all.
Perhaps at the turn of the year when the crystalline ball does drop, all of this illogicality will stop. Haha, what could I be thinking, that’s a night filled with excessive drinking. Or maybe it’ll be safe on Easter break, no wait, that’s when all of the college kids travel for a risk to take.
It’s starting to seem, society has no moral to redeem. With no purity there is no security. So fend for yourself, just as any Christmas elf. I wish you a happy holiday retreat, have plenty of presents and food to eat!
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